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Now, Damien’s not a ‘yes, dear,’ type. Maybe ‘yes, boss’ at work, but it’s clear that you’re both dramatically different types of men. What I said before is true, papi. I need both of you, both types of men. I need your soft, loving, romantic, vanilla, sometimes okay, maybe a little submissive ... but as I said before, mostly vanilla ... I need that rom-com leading man type. That’s you. You’re Ryan Reynolds or Steve Carell or Adam Sandler or Nicolas Cage. That’s so you.“Then there’s Damien, who supplies the bad-ass motherfucker type that I also need. Vin Diesel, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Thomas Jane, Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lungren. Gerard Butler. It’s why he sucked at rom-coms. Tom Selleck. Sean Connery. Pretty much every James Bond ever, in fact. That’s Damien. Killer. Badass. Motherfucker. You have that raw, primal, alpha male quality to you. It fits that you’re named after Satan, basically. It suits you.“It makes me so fucking wet, but the funny thing is so does what. He had been going out with a girl to keep up pretenses and told her first. “Of course you are, honey,” she told him. “Everybody already knows.” It turned out to be true. Brett was six-three and had played basketball. He told the coach who said, “Thank God, we don’t have to dance around the issue any more.” Brett had been astounded. His teammates, the girl he was going out with, and all of his friends already knew. He asked his best friend how everybody had already figured it out. “Well, we always kind of suspected, you know. It was confirmed at the underwear party at Holly’s. One of the girls got drunk and took off her bra and panties. You never looked. Then one of the guys dropped his boxers and you stared. Almost everybody got naked, but you didn’t. You hung around the naked guys but kept trying to hide your hard-on. It’s fine. Just don’t ask me to start liking Broadway musicals.” His parents had no understanding but plenty of acceptance. Brett told me, “Understanding is seriously.
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